Wow.
I hate you guys. Seriously.
Liars. Backstabbers. And fakes.
That's what you are.
| Wow. >> Tuesday, March 30, 2010 |
| One last time. >> Wednesday, March 24, 2010 |
I just wanna clarify this again.
And I'm posting this blog so its easier for me to read your reply, as I wanna spend as less time quarrelling over this at home as I can. So I'll be accessing this mostly at school.
A couple things I wanna clarify.
1) By relationship, I mean status. Being 'the couple'. Any labelling.
2) All I wanted was just to be FRIENDS. Like the way I'm friends with Dan. Or Matt. Or whatever.
3) Why? Because I don't have the time/energy/mind for a relationship. For it to be anything more than friends. I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
4) Thats PURELY why I chose this in the first place. Not any other reason.
5) Which is why I find it extremely melodramatic that you'd be so overthrown about it and end up putting everything else on the line and making such a big deal about it.
6) Which is also why I find NO RIGHT for you to call me selfish or cruel.
7) BECAUSE. If you loved me, you'd understand the struggle that it causes me. You'd understand that forcing myself to carry on with it is adding onto hardship. Its putting me through more than I need to be in.
8) SELFISH is asking for a relationship knowing the other person can't handle it.
9) And putting our friendship on the line for this? I think that was a really ridiculous thing you did there.
10) The ONLY REASON why I would have said I still wanted something was because my FEELINGS didn't change, I just couldn't handle it RIGHT NOW.
11) Which is why you had no reason to call me cruel. If I got hit by a car and was in a coma and wasn't in the proper condition to handle a relationship with you, would you call me cruel as well? Its the same thing.
12) You're not the only person with feelings. You have no idea how much you've hurt me through this.
13) I didn't throw anything away besides a status or crap. YOU were the one that made the rest of the decisions when you took this more seriously than it should have.
14) You made it a bigger deal than it actually was.
15) And so now you're right. It IS too late now. You changed my mind now. I agree. I don't want to wait anymore.
16) I'm scared of you now. Why? Because of the way you judge weakness.
17) If you love someone, you seek to understand their struggles. You realize WHY they don't want something that you do. And instead of moping saying they're selfish, you seek to support them.
18) You didn't. All you worried about was the loss of "being a couple" or crap. You only saw your own pain. You were in love with the RELATIONSHIP. Not with me. So much that you blinded yourself and you couldn't (and still can't) see how much YOUR reaction to this is putting me through.
19) And even more disappointing, you told people. You gave off the impression of me being the terrible person who deliberately hurt you. You let them judge me negatively. You let that happen.
20) And you told Aaron. You have no idea what happened today because of what you did. You have NO idea how much trouble you've caused, over THIS.
21) All because I'm not strong enough to keep up with so many things at once?
22) There is NO reason for you to call me cruel for WHY I chose to end it in the first place. If I had told you "GTFO, I hate you, get out of my life", THEN I'd be a cruel person. But I didn't.
23) The only reason for it was because I couldn't handle it all at once.
24) I realize it was sudden. I realize it wasn't the best thing. But like I said. You're not the only one that it matters to. I care too. I valued it too.
25) Sadly you still don't understand that.
26) You have no idea how blind you are.
And I'm posting this blog so its easier for me to read your reply, as I wanna spend as less time quarrelling over this at home as I can. So I'll be accessing this mostly at school.
A couple things I wanna clarify.
1) By relationship, I mean status. Being 'the couple'. Any labelling.
2) All I wanted was just to be FRIENDS. Like the way I'm friends with Dan. Or Matt. Or whatever.
3) Why? Because I don't have the time/energy/mind for a relationship. For it to be anything more than friends. I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
4) Thats PURELY why I chose this in the first place. Not any other reason.
5) Which is why I find it extremely melodramatic that you'd be so overthrown about it and end up putting everything else on the line and making such a big deal about it.
6) Which is also why I find NO RIGHT for you to call me selfish or cruel.
7) BECAUSE. If you loved me, you'd understand the struggle that it causes me. You'd understand that forcing myself to carry on with it is adding onto hardship. Its putting me through more than I need to be in.
8) SELFISH is asking for a relationship knowing the other person can't handle it.
9) And putting our friendship on the line for this? I think that was a really ridiculous thing you did there.
10) The ONLY REASON why I would have said I still wanted something was because my FEELINGS didn't change, I just couldn't handle it RIGHT NOW.
11) Which is why you had no reason to call me cruel. If I got hit by a car and was in a coma and wasn't in the proper condition to handle a relationship with you, would you call me cruel as well? Its the same thing.
12) You're not the only person with feelings. You have no idea how much you've hurt me through this.
13) I didn't throw anything away besides a status or crap. YOU were the one that made the rest of the decisions when you took this more seriously than it should have.
14) You made it a bigger deal than it actually was.
15) And so now you're right. It IS too late now. You changed my mind now. I agree. I don't want to wait anymore.
16) I'm scared of you now. Why? Because of the way you judge weakness.
17) If you love someone, you seek to understand their struggles. You realize WHY they don't want something that you do. And instead of moping saying they're selfish, you seek to support them.
18) You didn't. All you worried about was the loss of "being a couple" or crap. You only saw your own pain. You were in love with the RELATIONSHIP. Not with me. So much that you blinded yourself and you couldn't (and still can't) see how much YOUR reaction to this is putting me through.
19) And even more disappointing, you told people. You gave off the impression of me being the terrible person who deliberately hurt you. You let them judge me negatively. You let that happen.
20) And you told Aaron. You have no idea what happened today because of what you did. You have NO idea how much trouble you've caused, over THIS.
21) All because I'm not strong enough to keep up with so many things at once?
22) There is NO reason for you to call me cruel for WHY I chose to end it in the first place. If I had told you "GTFO, I hate you, get out of my life", THEN I'd be a cruel person. But I didn't.
23) The only reason for it was because I couldn't handle it all at once.
24) I realize it was sudden. I realize it wasn't the best thing. But like I said. You're not the only one that it matters to. I care too. I valued it too.
25) Sadly you still don't understand that.
26) You have no idea how blind you are.
| White-out works, too. >> Monday, March 8, 2010 |
