(8) so love me, thats all I ask of you...
^ random song I'm listening to xD So beautiful...
Had an interestingly painful encounter on the bus today.
So I'm sitting there on the bus after leaving starbucks with Natalia and Julia, and all of a sudden I see this familiar person getting on the bus that looks very much like Sophie.
And whaddayaknow. It was her.
She might not have saw me when she first got on. She was with this other asian girl, made me wonder why she was at WCI. Which also made me worry...if he was there too...thankfully I didn't see him if he was. So sat there in anxiety, fighting between missing an old friend and pain and disappointment for what they did. Sigh...Its so hard, where sometimes I feel the old memories lifting, just wanting to be able to see them as friends again. And then when I do face them, I'm overwhelmed by the pain and anger and...arghh. Finally her and her friend gets off, and they just happen to decide to go out the other door, where I'm sitting. So we see each other and for some random insanely impulsive reason, I happen to put on the best mask/act I could and said hi. Kinda felt like it was before, back when we were really tight, but then...its just so hard to NOT remember what happened, and to know that SHE knows it too. Does she not regard it? Does she not know the true depths of what happened? What did he tell her? What did she think?...sigh. So many confused thoughts. But at least...me trying to pretend things are perfectly okay and that nothing has happened besides her moving on to Uni...at least it eases me a little. A slight chance of hope that things will work out again eventually.
I wish it would stop bothering me.
Sigh. Most painful bus ride ever.
Anyways, on a brighter side, Nubcake can finally hang out tomorrow :D Although I'm kinda really nervous...dont think his dad likes me very much x.x So nervewracking, trying to be on my best behaviour & give the best impression >< I HATE always getting him in trouble D: Sometimes I really wish I didn't have 23987423984 family members in my house 24/7. =.='' It'd be so epic to be able to have him over again ;o Mmm...that'd definitely be one of my less serious more interesting random wishes :P
14 more hours (: Realized I have to bus home from school and then bus back again to his place tomorrow. Gotta go home for lunch x.x Can't stay out ALL day from early morning till night D: Oh well. I'll find a way. Cant wait~ (:
^ random song I'm listening to xD So beautiful...
Had an interestingly painful encounter on the bus today.
So I'm sitting there on the bus after leaving starbucks with Natalia and Julia, and all of a sudden I see this familiar person getting on the bus that looks very much like Sophie.
And whaddayaknow. It was her.
She might not have saw me when she first got on. She was with this other asian girl, made me wonder why she was at WCI. Which also made me worry...if he was there too...thankfully I didn't see him if he was. So sat there in anxiety, fighting between missing an old friend and pain and disappointment for what they did. Sigh...Its so hard, where sometimes I feel the old memories lifting, just wanting to be able to see them as friends again. And then when I do face them, I'm overwhelmed by the pain and anger and...arghh. Finally her and her friend gets off, and they just happen to decide to go out the other door, where I'm sitting. So we see each other and for some random insanely impulsive reason, I happen to put on the best mask/act I could and said hi. Kinda felt like it was before, back when we were really tight, but then...its just so hard to NOT remember what happened, and to know that SHE knows it too. Does she not regard it? Does she not know the true depths of what happened? What did he tell her? What did she think?...sigh. So many confused thoughts. But at least...me trying to pretend things are perfectly okay and that nothing has happened besides her moving on to Uni...at least it eases me a little. A slight chance of hope that things will work out again eventually.
I wish it would stop bothering me.
Sigh. Most painful bus ride ever.
Anyways, on a brighter side, Nubcake can finally hang out tomorrow :D Although I'm kinda really nervous...dont think his dad likes me very much x.x So nervewracking, trying to be on my best behaviour & give the best impression >< I HATE always getting him in trouble D: Sometimes I really wish I didn't have 23987423984 family members in my house 24/7. =.='' It'd be so epic to be able to have him over again ;o Mmm...that'd definitely be one of my less serious more interesting random wishes :P
14 more hours (: Realized I have to bus home from school and then bus back again to his place tomorrow. Gotta go home for lunch x.x Can't stay out ALL day from early morning till night D: Oh well. I'll find a way. Cant wait~ (:
posted by Nubcakechan @ 8:07 PM
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