Guess its just me tonight. Its wierd staying on without him. Not really used to it, I guess. Time goes fast and easy when he is here. Feels kinda lost when he isnt. Wierd.
Wonder if he's asleep already...wonder what he's dreaming tonight :3
Slept through most of the day today. Woke up at 3pm, got rushed to church. Never even saw Christmas daylight =/ Definitely feels wasted. Hopefully going shopping with dad tomorrow. Doubt Angela's around, probably spending holidays with her huge laos family >.> Em's gone back to Barrie, probably the last people I'll see this Christmas. Sucks this year, nothing fun =/ Can't even have parties.
So I'm gonna have to say the most interesting part of my day was reading Nubcake's blog :3 Ill admit, had to laugh at his silliness a little :P But I'm sure he got so many more laughs at me last night >.> NOTE TO SELF: Never stay up late talking to my Nubcake, with lots of embaressing secrets while he has a crapload of wishes. >.>
Still thinking about Tuesday...can't really get it off my mind. ^^; Tbh I'm still quite surprised. Definitely didn't see this coming anytime soon. The most of me is quite...happy, I guess? haha :3 But there is a tiny tiny part of me that worries a little. Mostly...I just don't want to take this too far, or...mostly just scared of a relationship that turns into one based on physical love. =/ Its definitely a very very small worry, because I know he'd never pull a him on me. He's not like that, and wouldn't ever use me. But its just my subconcious mind pulling back memories. A small reminder. But like I said, just a small thing. I don't worry about it much. I trust him. A lot. (:
Sigh...he's so silly, why does he worry about keeping me happy, or satisfying me? Guess he's still biased towards girls D: I'm not...I don't even know how to say it. He keeps me happy no matter what. Everything he does satisfies me, so I don't really see what he has to worry about. Silly Nubcake. And I still say no, girls are always worried about rejection. >.> Its natural D: Why else do we always worry over our image? Our body? The things we do and how well we do them? Argh...all because GUYS are the ones never satisfied...the girl just always has to keep up with the guy's needs. So much pressure on the girl to have to 'satisfy' the guy enough. >.> Sheesh. And just for the record to keep his silly mind from constantly worrying over unnecessary things, I do want it.
And I do wonder what exactly were the questions he had that I confirmed for him? I know I answered quite a few last night. Just curious as to what were the important ones he wanted confirmed?...:o
(I'm too intrigued by his thinking/mind. Its so interesting @_@ WAHH NUBCAKE DO YOU THINK I'M WIERD? WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME? T.T)
Trying his damn hardest not to be stereotypical guy...but "you know"?? What did he mean by that? Hmm...must get answer. >.>
Really wonder as to what this xmas surprise is that he has for me ;o Im very curious...especially if he sounded so sure that it was something I'd like (which I definitely would, but it peaks my interest that it would be something he thinks is definite ;o) Waahh so curious...T.T Hmm...something that one would expect to find in P-Mall. Curious curious curious.
Almost done his last present too ;o Second half didn't work out exactly as I wanted it to (ran outta room x.x), but overall it turned out quite decently (: Really hope he likes it D: Looks quite complex and epic when I see the constructs of it ;o
Last thing I noticed just now...
So last Tuesday just happened to be December the 22nd. Second day of the week, 22nd day of the month.
And NOW, the "next day" so spoken of (or, the next big 'hangout') is on next tuesday. At first I knew it definitely wasn't another 2, but I had a feeling there was something odd about that date...
Checked my calendar. Noticed it was the 29th.
Delayed reaction. But quite a big one. ;o
Awe, if he was here right now, I'd so throw a YAYFTW spazz ;o
So hax @_@ ITS A SIGN. x3
Guess we'll be, uhm, celebrating 5th then. (: It IS a special date o:
(8) I think of you and everything's okay...
Just thinking about everything makes me happier. ^^ Love really does do wierd things to people. Like Matt (diff matt), how his mom commented Polly really had a big influence on him. Pulling him out of his prolonged depression. And I guess Nubcake really is my sun now (as I always referred to him as, before, to myself ;o).
Wish he was here right now...miss him a lot. Under covers safe and warm...?! :3 Mmmm....silly thought, but sometimes I'd think of him like a teddy bear >.> Like that one dream, take him with me when I sleep and just hold him and squish him in my arms :3 Reminds me of the comment he made the other day...about the ostridge. "My bed is where you'll be sleeping too xP" Buaha. :3
Oh future, if holidays have to go by so quickly, do you mind arriving a bit faster too? T.T
3 more days. ~
posted by Nubcakechan @ 9:24 PM
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