Not gonna go into details about my day. Main thing from yesterday.

Moss was talking about her daughter's relationship...how they started from 'seeing each other' (unofficially official x3) and then developed into a relationship...(because he wanted to date her so badly xD). I think....seeing is a great way to understand all the aspects of the other person before diving into a relationship. For me...I think I learned lots. (: Its good to know the other really well...haha, I think I know my Nubcake quite well. :3 Enough that he literally feels like the other part of me. x.x Thus I can't imagine 2 years without....bleh. Will get into, later. ANYWAYS. One thing she said that really stood out: "Its not just their love, but their respect they have for one another." Which is so true. I guess...when people think relationship, the big word that always pops out is 'love'. Or whatever. But...when you think about it...its not just about love. Its about the other person (overlooked), and really how much respect you have for each other, how much consideration you have for THEM, not just yourselves. "And she teases him, a LOT, and he teases back, and theyre always laughing and telling inside jokes..." Haha. Teasing, laughing, joking...my Nubcake. (: Haha, she wanted them to get married so badly xD I wish my mom was that supportive >.> Ugh.

I think I'm noticing couples too much...like today. Walked out, saw Lianne and Sean Hubberstey cuddled together. o_O Wasn't expecting THAT. But the look they had....so happy. @_@ Makes me remember all those times Nubacke and I just looked at each other...and one of us always asks "what?", and the other would reply "Can I not look at my Nubcake and smile?" Haha. Pleased with what youre seeing, like you can't get enough of it, like nothing could make you happier. I miss him.

Other thing that came to mind today...really put to perspective.
Nubcake's graduating soon. In just months...wow. Its wierd, when I really think about it, never really fully imagined him...not being there. Not seeing him for so long. I mean, yeah, I've gone months where we barely talked or saw each other, but...for one, that was back then. And this...this is years. Right now even one week is long and dreadful. Two or more years...x.x I don't know. It'll be hard. No one to even rant to. x.x And I guess....(I know this is silly thinking but..yeah). Just those times I'm not there for him...when he's down, needs someone there and I can't be there, who would he turn to? Just the thought...of who would take over the 'me' when he's far away. T.T I wonder if it'd ever be the same for him...or better. Or not as good. Questions unanswered. =/
Or who I'll become. What company I'll have, by then. How I'll spend the free time without him there. Who I'll turn to. The type of person I'll become...
I know some things for sure. Summer...VBS will be my favorite thing look forward to. I'd anticipate all the days he comes home. Church won't be the same anymore, and in some cases I might change. Maybe try a few different ones. But mostly, I'd stay. School...Grade 11. Focus entirely on my work. Build up a reputation with Leon for debate...become directors for shows. Find a parttime job, get back into volleyball. Fix my health problems. Start working out a bit more. Sigh...
Thats all I have in plan for the future, really. When I really think about it, its all just ways to kill time. To keep my mind occupied so it won't wander into missing too much. And after all that, apply to university. Go into business or meds (likely meds at this point). Move out. Find him. Live on.
Its the test. See how we hold up. I know I'll never want anything else, and there can't really be much more I can find elsewhere. I've finally built myself up and theres no way I'd tear it all down again. I've learned selfcontrol through this time, and it's time I apply it. I've felt what its like to wait, and I should be prepared for it. I'd wait. And hope he is too, on the other side.
And hey, they do say that time spent apart will make love grow stronger. (:
And then when we do meet up again...
The prize is waiting?
Things would be so much easier.
No more alone...no more worries.
It'll be party in the usa. :D
Or, whereever we end up. >.>
Just gotta get past the waiting. ;o
Stay Nubcake, stay...dont change. Future's on its way~

posted by Nubcakechan @ 6:16 PM