Feels like four months passed by so quickly since the summer...so many interesting things that happened during that time :3 Gonna take some time o reflect on it a little, before I get started on hwk.
So many things that constantly take me by surprise. Such as...how its still hard to believe that this is all happening. That he actually loves me. ;o I still remember how I could only imagine it back then, how I pictured that being with him would be a perfectly ideal relationship for me...because of who he was, the only person I knew I was 100% certain I could trust. How aware I was at his...loyalty and commitment, the kind-hearted way he was there for everything...seeing him hurt like that back then, I wished (thus the 1000 stars) I could be the one to bring him out of it, make him happy...show that there's someone right there who really cares about him. Really cares...
And now its reality. He really does love me back, and yes, it is everything the way I want it to be (minus the parental factor >.>). I see myself finally secure and honestly happy with him, and I see him as a much happier person as well. Back then I could only imagine what it was like, never would I have imagined it would actually come true.
Other thing that surprises me most is...how easy the relationship really is. Sure, there are complications here and there, such as making the right decisions in the beginning, and certain getting into trouble, and time. But when it really comes down to it, after we'd set our goals straight in the beginning, things are really just....you can't get much better off than this. Most relationships, even by this point there are already legit fights/arguments, the guy/girl flaundering off, getting restless of each other, bored and lack of interest. But its not like that for us. Or for me, at least. We haven't gotten into a legit fight/argument yet, and even when we did have our minor conflicts, we worked them out together the right way. We know how to communicate...which most relationships either don't know how to, or just don't. And as for me, I don't ever seem to get tired of it all. I come home everyday knowing he's there...and it eases me and I'm glad. (: On the days I'm not in contact with him, I still wonder how he's doing and wish I could at least say hi. And just seeing him everytime makes me just as happy as I was every single time, just as much as the day, week, or months before. The way I see him has never really changed much since we first grew close friends way back, only I value our relationship together more and more, and I'm seeking now, seeking to grow and understand him more. For once, it feels right. I'm finally on the right track.
I'm not scared of who I am anymore, I don't hide things anymore. I don't shun him off from my life, I don't whisk away all his questions by answering "nothing." (well, not seriously, at least. For jokes, yes. :P) And neither does he. All our intentions is for the best interest of the other person...in a way it amazes me. I was so prejudiced towards other guys, thinking stuff like this was impossible. But he proved me wrong. He showed me it was possible to care unconditionally. No matter who I am or what I do. He's willing to accept my silliness and retardedness. I don't have to worry about scaring him off (mostly), or that he'll find out something about me that'll make him walk away from me. He already knows me throughout, and he's accepted all that, willingly. Which motivates me even more to become a better person for him...
He worried before about not being my type, not being...good enough? But one never looks at themselves clearly enough...he'll never notice some things about himself the way I do, a person from the "outside". I know I'm lucky to have a guy like him, others know I'm lucky to have a guy like him. My silly Nubcake...needs to know how much he really means to me. How much I value everything he does. Even the small little things he might not even notice himself.
So glad everything worked out the way it did...even though we still have waiting to do, I'm willing to wait. I'm willing to go through what it takes. I'm willing to go through everything that happens in the next few years, even after that and on and on. Can't wait to stay with you. (:
I love you. Happy four.
♥
posted by Nubcakechan @ 9:56 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home