Up and down. Uuuppp and down.


Is life.


Got in trouble last night. Amazing how she got there so fast. And how she recognized him. Wonder what she was thinking. Wonder what she saw. x-x Argh...the one thing that frustrates me the most.


Partially why I fear moving. Because they'll be so close to us that we risk getting caught everytime we hang out. D: So worried...


Week is going by really fast. Didnt get nearly as much time as I wanted with everyone from NB. Can't believe tomorrow's their last day already. And then I never get to see them ever again :( So ghey and sad...D: Especially when I'm so relaxed when they're here. So happy ~ T.T Almost like how I feel with Nubcake there. Its a decent alternate, though never the same. But still nice.



And school is stressful, but I'm having a decent time. Dreading certain classes, but I've managed to pull through. Just trying to be more social and open up...although its hard, with all the work I have to be focusing on, on my shoulders x.x But I'm getting there. Hopefully.
And no, I have not yet dared to go fetch my report card. Its sitting there waiting for me in the office. Just like all those other ones that once were that I never retrieved. Dx

Tomorrow's concert. Can't believe so soon...apparently Julie spazzed at Ana for an epic fail at their retreat today. Makes me feel bad...I should've been there to help lead. :S So difficult being double booked...stupid double solos. x.x Skipped concept. Feel like a rebel, but it was worth it. Wanting to skip tomorrow too, but I dunno if I should...D:

Saw Jasy while I was walking today. Talked for a bit, she brought up the Nate and Sophie thing again x.x So did Anthony, today. Argh...I hate hearing it. "Nathan's girlfriend, blablabla". They say it as if its a good thing, which bothers me to no end, feeling as if its a GOOD thing all the pain its put me through. Or maybe I'm just being stupid again and still bothered about it, not being supportive. Gah...wish I could stop feeling so guilty about this.
She asked if Nubcake and I were going out. Honestly, what do I say to that? xD But hmm, did she forget everything in that past already? :S She said he didn't seem my type, the type of guy I would go for. So I'm really wondering what everyone seems to think my type is. What do people think I prefer? Sheesh.
I am not a gold digger. Or a "hot guy seeker". Or a player (yeah, as much as it may seem >.>). Or those people who like to play with guys, or use them for popularity. Like I told Chels...I just want someone FOR me. I'm not looking for the best looking guy I can find, or the guy that'll spoil me the most or get me the most fame. I'm just looking for someone I know, someone I know won't let me down the way I was. Doesn't have to be the best guy, just the best guy for me. Is it honestly so hard to believe that a person like me could want just that? =/

Important thing is I know I found one. After a longish time of anticipation. ^^; Maybe I'll never have a specific "type". And thats quite a good thing, in many ways. I'm relieved. Or maybe my type is just the "Nubcake". And there really is only one (kekeke), so I'm guess I'm stuck with just one option. ;o

Oh well. I'm fine with that.
♥ (:

posted by Nubcakechan @ 2:47 PM